Jun 74 min read

"Deko-Boko Translation Table" Weaknesses to Strengths for Self-esteem and Positive Parenting [Free Download]

Deko-Boko Translation Table by Rakurakumom

Deko-Boko Translation Table [Free Download] English Ver.

■About this: Weaknesses to Strengths for Self-esteem and Positive Parenting

I have created an 🇺🇸English version of the "Deko-Boko Translation Table"!

The original version was created in 🇯🇵Japanese, and with the help of various AI translation tools like ChatGPT, I supervised and revised it for release on my website.

*In Japanese, it is common to refer to strengths and weaknesses together as "Deko-Boko(凸凹)." Recently, it is often used to describe the unique characteristics of children with developmental disorders. "Deko" refers to protruding parts = strengths or advantages, and "Boko" refers to recessed parts = weaknesses or challenges. "Deko-Boko" is also used to describe physical shapes.

This table is a sharing tool designed to transform the weaknesses, inabilities, or difficulties of children, others, and oneself into strengths and advantages, thereby enhancing self-esteem and promoting self-understanding and mutual understanding.

As I often mention in my books, I believe that "Deko and Boko are two sides of the same coin," and there are no children with only strengths or weaknesses.

If there are many things a person cannot do or weaknesses they have, they must have an equal number of things they can do and strengths.

This is not just bravado; it is something I genuinely feel through my parenting experiences.

However, parents and children tend to focus more on what they cannot do.

This tendency might be especially true for perfectionists with ASD tendencies or within a societal background that does not easily tolerate failures.

The original "Deko-Boko Translation Table" was created to help parents raising children in Japan, and the children themselves, focus on their strengths, the things they are good at, and what they are already capable of, encouraging them to feel "You are fine just the way you are!" and gain some confidence.

The content of the table was selected based on the Deko-Boko characteristics of my children and myself, as well as comments received from my SNS followers in Japan, where I often felt that while parents were so worried and concerned, I saw their children as wonderful. These experiences helped me choose the words.

In Japanese society, there is a traditional value that regards humility as a virtue, which creates a tendency to refrain from openly praising or boasting about one's children in front of others. This cultural norm can make it challenging to enhance children's self-esteem and may lead to parents losing confidence in their parenting abilities. This is why I felt the need for the table.

I compiled this based on my experiences and insights, so there might be examples that feel a bit off to you depending on your experiences. Please forgive any discrepancies.

■About the English Version

Considering this point, the cultural backgrounds of other countries differ from Japan, meaning that the content of the table may not apply universally due to varying perceptions of values and traits.

Therefore, the 🇺🇸English version includes annotations by ChatGPT titled "Considerations of Cultural Background" on the second page, which can be downloaded with the Deko-Boko Translation Table.

I hope this idea of viewing weaknesses and strengths as a set in the "Deko-Boko Translation" and understanding personality differences through cultural background differences will serve as a reference for mutual understanding.

■To Parents Who Have Lost Confidence in Parenting

If your child is often scolded or warned at school, parents may also lose confidence.

However, by changing the way you look at things, you might find that your child has many wonderful qualities!

For example, in the case of my eldest son:

Instead of saying, "My son is selfish, doesn't read the room, is clumsy and hasty, an attention seeker, lacks concentration, can't tidy up, is restless, stubborn, doesn't listen to others, has many weaknesses, keeps failing, and is full of things he's not good at, I'm worried about his future,"

try this "Deko-Boko Translation":

"My son has his own opinions, is mentally strong, approachable, decisive, has a generous spirit, is curious, imaginative, active, tenacious, assertive, understands the feelings of those who can't do things, has a strong willingness to challenge, has so many good points, and I'm looking forward to his future."

Seeing things this way can brighten your mood, right?

And it is you, who is raising such a wonderful child!

Of course, my child also has many areas that need improvement, but if I force him to overcome all his weaknesses, the wonderful aspects of his personality may also disappear.

It is okay if he can overcome his weaknesses to the bare minimum, to the extent that it doesn't cause significant inconvenience to others.

Understanding oneself, compensating for shortcomings with tools, and managing oneself creatively are ways to navigate and aim for independence while maintaining a good relationship with oneself.

Please cherish and nurture your child's wonderful individuality.

Every child and every person has many wonderful qualities.