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"Status Gauge" [Free Download!]
■Social Skills Training and Anger Management for kids who like games
For adults and children, self-control starts with "knowing and objectively viewing your state."
I have been working with my children to visualize our emotions with tools like the "Feeling scale" to understand our feelings and communicate them clearly through words and expressions.
But I believe understanding our "condition" is just as important as understanding our "feelings."
When we're tired, anyone can get irritated or lose patience (My son is in a bad mood right now because of hay fever...😷🌲)
However, simple self-management like "resting when tired" can be quite challenging if your child is not aware of their fatigue (this is also true for me).
Especially children with ADHD, When he/she focus too much, overexert themselves, or are constantly tired due to sensory sensitivity, they may forget to "rest" without realizing it.
Quantifying subjective things like "pain" in the mind or body, and being able to communicate "how much" to others, can also help alleviate that pain. (At the orthopedic clinic I go to, they have a tool that expresses pain levels in units.)
What's important is to also focus on "recovery."
If we can visualize "how much we've recovered or can recover from what," it becomes "self-control."
The "Status gauge" is a simple visual aid that helps my kids, who love games, to easily and enjoyably understand and objectively view their physical condition, fatigue, mental and physical pain, and how to recover.
(Author Note: The "Status Gage" or "Status Bar" often used in video games increases or decreases the bar's units to display the remaining health (HP) as the character takes damage or heals, and I applied this concept. Therefore, it might not resonate with kids who don't play games.)
Hmm, I think I came up with something good for my kids💡
(Thanks to our school counselor for the advice.)
So I'm sharing this tool with you all, Kids who love games will probably be very receptive to this!
This time, the Tool is written in both 🇺🇸English and 🇯🇵Japanese, so foreign children can also use it.
■Example of How to Use the Status Gauge
The way you use it is, of course, up to each family, but as a reference, here’s a conversation between my son and me on a “morning when he feels gloomy because there’s a disliked menu item in the school lunch”:
Mom: Good morning, Taro. What's up?
Son: Ugh... Today they’re serving cherry tomatoes🍅 in the school lunch! I don't want to go; I want to stay home.
Mom: I see, that sounds tough. By the way, how’s your HP right now? (showing the gauge)"
Son: Hmm, I slept well, so my HP is full right now.
Mom: I see, so your body is feeling good.
Son: But I still don't want to go!
Mom: Yeah, cherry tomatoes are yucky. If you take a bite, how much damage do you think you’d take?"
Son: The attack power of cherry tomatoes🍅 is high! It’s about 10,000 damage! My HP would drop to 1.
Mom: I see, that's a really strong enemy. So, for example, if we use a recovery item, how much would you recover if you had 'sweet potato cakes🍠' after you get back home?"
Son: Hmm, about like this ...
Mom: I see, only that much. How about if we have 'curry rice for dinner🍛'?
Son: Yay! In that case, I might recover up to about 50% HP!
Mom: OK. Then we'll have curry rice for dinner.😊"
…With conversations like this, I manage to send my son off to school even when there's a disliked menu item for lunch. (Of course, on days when he’s down about school, the conversation doesn't go this smoothly.)
Even when facing unpleasant things, being able to anticipate the damage and prepare mentally, having family empathize with you, and knowing how to recover can make it easier to overcome challenges.
Of course, you can also use it for reflection after experiencing something unpleasant or getting hurt—“How much damage did I take” once you’ve calmed down.
When my children use inappropriate words like "BBA"(: A youth or internet slang term for a middle-aged woman in Japanese.), I sometimes show how much damage it caused.
Some children are sensitive to "pain," while others are less so, but being able to accurately convey their pain and feelings can help them feel a bit more at ease.
The Status gauge is a communication tool for parents and children to empathize with and objectively share "pain." Please feel free to use it if you find it helpful.
[free download!]
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📝ChatGPT's Note
SST, or Social Skills Training: is a type of therapy designed to help individuals improve their social interactions and communication skills. In Japan, it is often abbreviated as SST.
Hay fever: also known as allergic rhinitis, is a common allergic in Japan, reaction that causes sneezing, stuffy or runny nose, and itchy eyes, often triggered by pollen. It is a typical feature of spring in Japan.
School lunch, or "kyushoku": is a well-balanced meal provided to students at school in Japan, It is a compulsory part of the school day, and all students eat the same meal, which is often planned to provide nutritional balance and introduces students to a variety of foods.
Cherry tomatoes: are small, round tomatoes often used in salads and dishes, known for their sweet taste. In Japan, it is called "Petit tomato".
BBA: is a derogatory term in Japanese youth slang used to refer to a middle-aged woman, often in a disrespectful manner.
Curry rice: known as "kare raisu" in Japanese, is a popular Japanese dish consisting of rice topped with a curry sauce, which is usually made with meat and vegetables.
🇯🇵 Original post of this article(Switch to 🇯🇵 mode)
Book version of this article：「発達障害＆グレーゾーンの３兄妹を育てる母のどんな子もぐんぐん伸びる１２０の子育て法」 大場美鈴・著（ポプラ社/2017.2）p.253- →Amazon.jp
*No translated version is available of this book.
